Pfft. Cute, little pretend manual. Barnum Effect your way into suspension of disbelief. Only a tiny fraction of people who pick up a book like this wouldn't like to be described as linguistically talented and curious. Whether they are or not. (Cam is, though.)

Slow down the death of the universe? Okay, that sounds potentially compelling. Cam's more concerned about people, but if he can't work out immortality that doesn't imply despair; new people can come into existence and need a place to live. Go on, little pretend manual.